Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
