Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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