Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
