great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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