I got chris browned last night
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The uberlube is also flammable
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
