Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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