Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
