I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
