gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
