I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
