im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize