this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
