do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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