another moral hangover. fuck.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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