Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm always down for nudity.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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