yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
