I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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