the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
