I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
