idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Apparently you make a good broom.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
