genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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