what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
