You can't special order awesome
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
someone owes me an orgasm
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
