how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
