I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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