just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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