Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize