We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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