just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
