Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
