Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Small penises have feelings too.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
