Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
