All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
