Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize