i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
