so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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