There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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