Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
