I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
