im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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