when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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