Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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