how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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