I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
