You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My liver is preforming stress tests.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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