He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
