She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize