I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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