I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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