if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
