she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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