You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
