No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
