Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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