watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just want to make out with him forever
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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