If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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