forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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