I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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