My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
