he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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