I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize